


Fix Me

by nekked



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-16
Updated: 2012-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-29 15:44:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/321524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekked/pseuds/nekked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zoro and Hancock have developed a twisted relationship, both of them acknowledging the inevitabilities that come with love, and trusting that absence can only make the heart grow fonder. Meanwhile, Nami takes matters into her own hands to answer a burning question, Luffy loses his innocence, and Usopp wakes up naked in the forest. Explicit descriptions of sexual acts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: My OTP :| What can I say. I just really love ZoHan.

Oh. She was a bad bitch. A bad,  _bad_  bitch. And she knew it.

 _Yeah, you know what you do to me. Teasing ain't fun for long._

Zoro leaned on the dining room table and pulled at the bandana on his head with purpose, trailing the fabric seductively down his neck and chest, staring at the object of his desires. It did little to remove the sweat from his skin, more like it just moved it around.

 _Let me love you, honey. Let me love you…_

"Shitty marimo. Give it up. That bottle's not for you," Sanji growled threateningly from behind the kitchen counter. "I took it out specially for Hancock-san." The cook sighed dreamily and went back to chopping vegetables up for dinner. "You stink, too. Take a shower before coming back in here."

Zoro shot him a glare, looked longingly at the alcohol one last time and exited the kitchen. Oh well. He still had some reps he could do to take his mind off of his forbidden love with the treasure trove of top notch wine that magically appeared every time Boa Hancock decided to visit. Zoro could swear the cook had a secret stash. Maybe he'd rope Luffy into helping him look for the good stuff later…

"Swordsman."

 _Dammit. Sneaking up on me like that..._

Zoro turned slowly to Hancock, doing his best to show the exact level of irritation he felt when she spoke to him like a servant. She didn't seem to notice (or care) and glided over to him.

"My shoulder hurts," she said bossily. "Fix it."

"Well, you see," he started off sarcastically, "I'd LOVE to. Except, I'm busy from now until eternity. And because of you, I can't even get a decent drink around here." He turned from her and continued walking. He didn't get very far before he heard the clink of her nails on glass. His head turned to look over his shoulder and he made eye contact with the exact bottle Sanji had just denied him a few moments ago. She smirked when his eyes widened with interest.

"What about now," she purred. He bobbed his head contemplatively.

"I might be able to find room for you in my schedule."

She smiled knowingly and slipped the bottle into her cleavage, sauntering away to do whatever the hell she did in between meals. Bug Luffy. Torture the masses. Bitchy empress type things he probably wouldn't understand. Zoro rubbed at his neck and fisted the bandana as he walked towards the bath house, ditching the idea of doing more reps. He'd save his energy for later.

.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.

Hancock glanced at Zoro from across the table to see if he was watching. Luffy happily accepted any food she pushed in front of him, but Zoro knew what she was all about. And she knew he knew. She licked her lips slowly, like she actually gave a shit about how good the food was. His meal was especially interesting tonight. At least he tried to make it seem that way by keeping his gaze off of her and her stupid methods of trying to get a reaction out of him.

"Hancock-swan~ is everything here to your satisfaction," Sanji asked adoringly. Hancock simply looked at him and he skipped away, yelling about how he now felt inspiration to make something for dessert. Zoro rolled his eyes and continued eating.

"Hancock-san, I'm glad you've decided to continue consulting Zoro for your neck issues while you're with us," Chopper continued with the conversation. "I'm no match for him. Even with all my anatomy studies I've never met someone who gives a better massage than Zoro. He always does an excellent job," he finished, beaming at his best friend. Zoro grinned back.

"We only have your word on that, Chopper," Nami whined. "He never gives  _me_  a massage."

"That's because you can't afford me," Zoro said simply. "Or, more like you could, but you refuse to pay up."

"Tch. Do you know how much money you owe me, idiot? You should be  _begging_  me to let you give me massages."

"Because you're constantly overexerting yourself while you lay around and eat in between islands, right," he joked. Robin's arms sprouted around Nami to keep her from killing him.

Hancock didn't say much of anything. Just continued to lavish Luffy with attention. Zoro shrugged and reached for his water.

"Besides. I can't be blamed for all the imaginary debt you spontaneously decide to…thrust upon me," he said suggestively, glancing at Hancock as he sipped.

Oh, there it was. That glorious look of disdain she reserved only for him. It was endearing at this point in their fucked up relationship, and Zoro savored it every time he did something that irked her enough to give it to him in public. Robin chuckled at their silent communication. Usopp and Franky looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Brook laughed and was punched by both of them when he attempted to make a skull joke. Nami sighed, shook her head and began gathering empty plates to take to Sanji.

Everybody suspected what really went down in the sick room every time Hancock mysteriously developed an "injury" and needed Zoro to "fix it". Except Luffy, Sanji and Chopper of course, and it was kept that way when Nami conveniently declared a night on the town whenever the snake princess needed a massage. There was probably some behind the scenes money exchange there.

Zoro put his glass down and got up from the table, going back to ignoring Hancock's attention seeking behavior. She'd just have to wait until later.

He casually reached over her shoulder for a plate, going out of his way to brush against the exposed skin of her left breast as he did so. He felt her shiver and noticed her thighs rubbing together impatiently under the table. He let his lips pause at her ear teasingly.

"Hope everything was to your satisfaction," he whispered gruffly, knowing it hadn't been.

.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.

"You're a real piece of work," Hancock spat angrily at Zoro, removing her dress. He watched from his place on the floor, every once in awhile taking a swig from the bottle she'd brought him.

 _This stuff really isn't that great._

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replied nonchalantly. They stared into each others eyes when the dress fabric fell completely to the floor, her flawless body glowing in the dim light of the room. He lifted the bottle slowly to his lips, watching her slither over and crouch so she was at eye level with him. She was still frustrated with the inhuman amount of control he had over his emotions, which was what he wanted. Hancock was best when she was good and hot and lusty.

"Stupid swordsman," she whispered, tugging the bottle from his lips and replacing it with her mouth. He allowed her to sample what she'd brought him as "payment", some of it dripping down his chin and neck. She pulled away and dropped her head to lick up the trail it made. He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

"You should give me better names considering how nice I am to you," he said, ignoring her growling when he pushed her face away and stood up to move the bed to the middle of the floor. "Lie down."

"Carry me," she ordered, the back of her hand flailing to her forehead dramatically. "I think I sprained my ankle on the way here."

Zoro's usable eye softened slightly. She knew he was a sucker for the damsel in distress routine. Also, her splayed legs gave him a nice view of…

He sighed, walking back over to her. She watched him the whole time, eyelids hooded and sexy. He bent down and she embraced him, moaning softly in anticipation of what was coming. It was hard to pretend to be indifferent to her, especially when she was practically throwing herself at him. But he secretly enjoyed their foreplay. And since the ship was a hard place to be alone in, they tried to take full advantage of every opportunity.

"Do you realize how convenient it is that you get horny every time we reach an island?" He asked sarcastically, placing his hands under her ass and neck respectively and lifting her into his arms. Her long hair barely left the ground.

"Do you realize how little I appreciate your smartass commentary?" She replied with a glare. He smirked and set her gently on the bed.

"I'm just saying. It's nice that you're so courteous of everyone else on the ship," he pressed a kiss to her shoulder as she positioned herself face down, "even if it means going without for awhile."

She pressed her face to the pillow, trying to hide her slight blush at his disguised praise. "As if I could partake in such vulgar activity with everyone else around." His boots traveled across the floor again to pick up the bottle. He came back and sat on the bed beside her, using one hand to drink and the other to gently massage her neck.

"So you actually did something to it this time, huh?"

"It hurts…when you go lower…" She said a little pained, gripping the thin sheet. Zoro finished off the bottle and set it on Chopper's desk.

"I know. I can feel it. You fucked up your trapezius. Probably slept on it wrong." He rubbed his hands together so they wouldn't be cold when he touched her.

"Well, the makeshift piece of trash your shipwright threw together and called my bed might have something to do with that," she mumbled into the pillow, humming with pleasure when his hands made contact with her skin.

"Well, I think you're a spoiled fuckin' brat and should be grateful we even put up with you and your bullshit. We should just make you sleep on the floor," he retorted. He moved one knee onto the bed so he could get better leverage. His hands kneaded mercilessly at her back, powerful fingers expertly ridding her of uncomfortable knots. She groaned with a mixed sensation of pain and absolute bliss. This was her favorite part. The sex was good of course, but just having him touch her like this…with all his beastly force making her melt into a puddle of tenderized flesh…

"Ah…AHHHHHhhhh…" She moaned loudly into the pillow and arched her back into his hands, an orgasm that had been marinating for the past few days finally finding itself and making her feel absolutely fantastic. He rubbed her spine encouragingly and watched her hump the bed, waiting patiently for her to come back down from her high. When she had calmed down a little, he moved her hair from her neck and kissed it, running his hands over her shoulders.

"I win," he whispered against her ear. She just glared at him through hazy eyes and let her face flop back to the pillow. He laughed a little, his hands moving to caress the brand of the Tenryuubito. She didn't tense up, which was an improvement. Trust was something they were working on.

His first time seeing it, he hadn't really been able to comprehend the amount of emotional trauma it represented. Hancock's behavior towards men, all of her quirks that had originally made him hate her, the way she could never really let anyone see the human being underneath all that bitch; learning the reason behind it gave him a new perspective. He could appreciate that, despite how different they were from each other, she had been willing to open up to him.

Zoro kissed the center of the mark, slowly moving one hand over her butt. It came to rest protectively over her womanhood. She moaned quietly and moved against him, urging him to do more.

"It's nice that you're so eager tonight, but unfortunately my services end here," he said in teasing disappointment, planting a final kiss on her butt cheek and standing up. She whirled her head around and stared at him, disgusted with his timing. When it looked like she was going to protest, he held a finger up and grinned.

"Unless, of course, you're willing to pay…"

She silently regarded him on her elbows, giving him her signature 'are you fucking kidding me' look. To his surprise, she wordlessly slipped off the bed and gave him a sexy smile as she walked past and out the door. Curiously, he stared after her as she walked into the kitchen, then realized he should change the ruined bed sheets. She walked back in as he was putting the pillow in a fresh case.

There she was, unashamed as a naked woman could be leaning on a door frame with a bottle of sake between her teeth. She held two more in her hands. He stared at her, then caught the bottle she threw to him. Carefully, she brought her empty hand up to take the one in her mouth.

"Figured these might be more to your taste. I don't much care for the shit your cook sets aside for me anyway," she said with a knowing smirk. "Feel like drinking with me?"

It was taking every ounce of his self control to not fuck her where she stood.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh my god, I HATE it when you DO THAT," Hancock cried angrily, crawling out from under Zoro. He continued to laugh loudly, using his sash to pull her back to him playfully. She resisted, so he wrapped an arm around her waist and fell on top of her. She grunted and pushed at his face, which only made him laugh harder.

"I'm…you know I'm not laughing at you," he managed to chuckle, "It's just your face. Your face was  _priceless_."

"SHUT UP! IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT HAPPENS," she yelled, blushing profusely. He caught her mouth with his and she punched him away. He rubbed at his cheek and watched her walk about half way across the deck, smiling at how mad she'd gotten.

 _Looks like I'm in the dog house now…_

He sat up and leaned back on his hands, his robe practically falling off and his dick already freed from his pants. It still glistened with the essence of her insides.

"Hancock."

She stopped walking when she heard him call out her name. She turned slightly, secretly hoping he'd say something to make it acceptable for her to go back to him. It was cold out here without clothes or someone holding her.

"What, idiot."

"...You're beautiful."

His eyes were serious, but his mouth hinted that he might say something else to follow that up. She turned away and blushed before he could ruin the moment.

"Your ass is practically a second moon out here-" Her foot made contact with his face and he bounced back through the kitchen door. She stood fuming with her fists clenched at her sides, waiting for him to come out. He eventually managed to stumble back through the door, the ache in his head still having nothing to do with alcohol. He moved to rest his arm on the door panel, attempting to look seductive and failing miserably. His penis throbbed angrily from being pulled out too early. Combined with his disheveled clothes and messy hair, he looked more ridiculous than tempting. Hancock was not amused. Her glare reminded him that now that he'd made her self conscious, he would have to get her to forgive him.

"Alright. So, I'm no good with poetry-"

"THAT was your attempt at poetry?"

"I JUST SAID I WAS NO GOOD AT IT DIDN'T I?"

"NOBODY EVER SUSPECTED OTHERWISE, DUMBASS."

"AND," he said holding up a hand to shut her up, "And…also, I suppose, if you  _really_  don't like it-"

"WHO WOULD LIKE THAT? IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M FARTING."

"See, this is where we disagree," he said calmly. "I find your queefing quite arousing."

"Can we NOT," she said shaking her head in distress, hands coming up to cover her face. "Can we NOT say that. I HATE that word…"

"Whatever. Whatever you call it. You can think it's disgusting or whatEVER you want, but I love it. It's sexy," He crossed the deck to meet her, eye narrowing dangerously and robe flying around him. They never broke eye contact, and despite how much she hated talking about this, she liked that look in his eye.

"It's like your pussy is crying out for me. Like it's telling me it wants more," he said gruffly, stepping up to her boldly and tilting his head down to take one erect nipple into his mouth. One hand rubbed at her back, and she let herself lean into the other hand he brought up to her neck.

"You know I hate that word too," she moaned.

" _Pussy,_ " he growled pointedly, grazing her other nipple with his teeth. "It says 'fuck me harder, Zoro.'"

"MMMmmm." She licked her lips and let him guide her body down to the grass. He crawled back on top of her, groaning when she gyrated against his exposed erection. He slipped his pants off completely so he could move more freely.

"I…I forgive you," she said with hurried authority, eyes starting to get unfocused. "Just…just  _do_  me. Right here.  _Now_. I want it. I want it  _in me_ ," she begged.

"See, that's what got us into trouble in the first place," he said, hovering over her and frowning. "When I go faster like you want, it makes more noises," He leaned down and kissed her collar bone. "Though I still can't understand why you care about weird noises with all the squawking you do-" She brought her fist up to his face again and tried to crawl away, fed up with his bullshit. Since when had he gotten so talkative anyway.

She felt him grab her ankles and froze in place as his hands traveled up her legs, then her thighs. She moaned in approval as his fingers went on to massage her womanhood like she'd wanted earlier. The rest of him came up to lean against her back. Alternating which hand pleasured her, he let the robe fall from his arms, now making him just as naked as her.

"Feels good, huh," he said huskily. She arched like a cat into his body, feeling his cock pressing impatiently at her ass.

" _Mmmm_ , yeah, right  _there_ ," she breathed, letting her eyes roll in the back of her head as he pressed a finger to her favorite spot and rubbed steadily. It felt  _so_  fucking  _good_ , that little spot next to her lady boner where it hurt a bit. The aching just made it feel that much better. She rubbed herself against him and cried out without any discretion, torturing him to the point where he thought he might burst with frustrated desire. She shook violently and came on his hand after a few more minutes. He stuck two of his fingers in his mouth and sucked, hooding his eye like a shark that's smelled blood. His hands came around to fondle her breasts, smearing the remainder of her cum on them. She sighed contentedly.

"I'm gonna put it in now," he whispered, nibbling at her ear. One hand left her breasts to guide himself to her opening. She waited in heated anticipation.

And waited.

And waited.

Aaaand waited.

She frowned slightly and turned her head to look at his face, still resting on her shoulder. His expression was confused, like he had forgotten-

"Stupid swordsman. PLEASE tell me you did NOT just blank on where my vagina is," she said withering internally.

He scowled at her, then blinked into empty space again, his ears turning pink.

"N-no…"

Hancock couldn't hold back and laughed until she cried at his apparently boundless ability to get lost.

.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.

"Zoro and Hancock are weird," Luffy speculated, absentmindedly clanging his silverware together. Nami knew this was probably leading up to something that had been on his mind for awhile, so she downed her tankard and waited for the worst. Usopp leaned his chin on one hand and closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself for the same thing.

Brook had been booked to play almost as soon as they'd walked into town. Even though he was now known to be a pirate, the people of this island were still huge fans of Soul King Brook and his music, so a party of sorts was thrown in his honor. He jumped and strummed his guitar with enthusiasm on the small stage they'd put up, making the crowd go crazy. Many people had designated the town square as a dance floor of sorts, Brook's variation of fast and slow songs keeping a good amount of them twirling into the later hours of the night. Sanji kept himself occupied by dancing with every girl he saw, Franky was teaching a line of people how to do The Franky, Robin chatted with some older women at another table, and Chopper had gone to get cotton candy a few minutes ago. Which left Nami and Usopp in charge of keeping their captain entertained while they sat at a table near the buffet.

"Okay, Luffy. I'll bite. Why are Zoro and Hancock weird," Nami asked tiredly. Usopp gave her a frog face, silently killing her for instigating what promised to be an awkward conversation.

"They're never nice to each other when we're around and they always get into fights. Then, when we go have fun, they stay behind by themselves." He leaned forward, making sure nobody but his friends could hear him speak. He grinned like he knew a secret. "But see, I don't think they hate each other at all. I think they stay behind and play games without us."

Nami saw the glint in Usopp's eye, which meant he was about to crack a joke. She slapped a hand over his mouth and decided to play along with Luffy.

"Does that make you mad? That they don't want to play with us?"

"Of COURSE," Luffy cried, pounding a fist on the table. "They're both jerks. They should want to have fun with us."

Nami choked down a laugh. Usopp glared at her and pushed her hand away.

"Well, all I can say is that Hancock-san is wise in wanting to stay on the ship when she visits us. There's really no reason to call a ton of attention to ourselves having such a beautiful woman in our company," Nami offered, trying to not laugh at the mental image of Zoro and Hancock playing something Luffy was thinking of. Probably hide and seek. Or something equally stupid. Granted it beat the _other_  mental image she had of them together by a mile.

"Well, sure, and I appreciate it I guess," Luffy pouted and looked over at the party goers. "But why does she need Zoro to stay too? She's a Shichibukai. Any guys that might try to sneak on the ship with her there would die." He laughed manically. Nami sweat dropped at his deranged sense of humor.

"She probably doesn't NEED him there, idiot," Usopp said. "Maybe she just WANTS him there. She might just like hanging out with him." Nami gave him an impressed smile at his fairly mature suggestion.

"Maybe," Luffy said thoughtfully.

"As for the 'games' they play," Usopp murmured, rolling his eyes, "we should just leave them be. I'm thinking the less we know, the better."

"And don't take it too personally, Luffy," Nami said, smiling reassuringly. "Besides, I don't know if this helps, but Hancock did seem to have hurt her shoulder. If Zoro's giving her a massage, that would explain why he needed to stay behind."

Luffy tilted his head. "Mass…erge? Can you eat it?"

"Well, you see Luffy, when a man and a woman develop special feelings for each oth-" Nami punched Usopp upside the head and he went flying into the dessert table.

"Stop trying to corrupt the children with unnecessary things," she muttered.

Nami sat back down like nothing had happened. Luffy stared at her for a moment, then took his hat off and played with it a little.

"Hey, Nami?"

"What?"

"What's a… _masserge_?"

"A massage, Luffy, is…" She frowned, realizing it might be a little bit hard to explain. "Well, it's like, if your muscles get hurt and you want someone to rub them for you so they feel better."

"Oh," he said, blinking in confusion. "So…it feels good?"

"Yeah! They do. They feel really good. If they're done right, you feel really refreshed afterwards."

"Mm. They sound nice."

"Yep. They are."

There was a long silence between them, noticeable even with all the background noise. Luffy replaced the hat on his head, smoothing his hands over his shorts. He glanced at her. She was already looking at him.

"Want me to give you one?"

"Yeah," he said grinning widely and letting the excitement he felt show in his voice. "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."

Meanwhile, some local girls dragged an unconscious, cake covered Usopp away to the forest completely unnoticed.

.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.

Never in her life had Hancock imagined a time where she'd be doing something like this. Especially with someone like him. Making love on the deck of a ship on a deserted part of some unknown island was like something out of a romance novel. And yet, the quiet song of cicada's and the gentle slice of moon above gave life to this seemingly impossible scene. Everything was so serene, not one disturbance to-

"Ooooooh  _GOD_ ," she wailed towards the sky.

"He ain't listening," Zoro mumbled, letting his tongue wander from one breast to the other. He bit down hard every now and then, letting her know he was still bitter about not doing it from behind. He wouldn't admit that it was, indeed easier (by his standards) to find her vagina like this, though. By now he'd gotten used to the iron grip she had on his hair, too. If they weren't currently in the throes of passion he might have wondered if it was getting too long.

She whimpered longingly for release, the scorching sensation of being impaled mercilessly for the past half hour starting to finally break her down. (Zoro appreciated her delirious overestimation of his ability to drag things out, but he was human. He didn't mention they'd only been at it for like, eight minutes.) He noticed her pelvis starting to move more erratically, meaning she was probably getting close. And he picked up on her other subtle hints…

" _FASTER_ ," she commanded, teeth bared and face flushed. Her hips thrust up imploringly to meet him, as if that would make it easier. " _YOU'RE NOT GOING FAST ENOUGH_."

"Goin' fast as I can,  _darling_ ," he ground out, curling himself into her further so he could finish her off. He personally loved how crazy she got when they did it, but if he kept up the torture much longer she'd wake the fucking dead. Or rip all his hair out. Whatever came first.

She writhed feverishly underneath him, toes curling and uncurling as he hitched her legs up over his shoulders. All that mattered was that he kept raking at her G-spot, which he was suspiciously good at finding when it mattered most. This position though, it was usually the finishing blow. Like this her skin was taut and at its most sensitive, so he didn't hold back. Her screaming was encouraging, but he was still grateful for that few inches of height difference between them. His ear drums could only take so much…

"…ro…"

"Hm? What's that? I couldn't hear you," he crooned.

"Zo…ro…" She moaned his name like it was the only thing she'd ever say again, her body arching in prep for her release. He smiled and nuzzled her tits, pulling out all the stops and fucking her with everything he had, balls slapping rhythmically against her skin. Saying his name like that when he was trying so hard to keep it together…oh, she was cruel. He hugged her tightly and let out a muffled groan when she clamped down on him.

 _Good girl._

He hissed through his teeth when he felt her go over the edge, her moaning and sporadic contractions sucking him in until he-

 _Aw, shit…_

She stared at him through her after glow and smiled when he went rigid, knowing he was about to cum. Her smile faded though when he pecked her on the mouth almost apologetically and pulled out. He stumbled over to the side of the ship and gripped the rail with one hand, the other pumping his cock madly. He groaned long and loud, letting his seed shoot into the sea. She watched him with expressionless eyes from her place on the deck.

When he'd finished, he turned around slowly to look at her. She regarded him for a moment before looking away. He frowned and sighed.

 _I fucked up._

"Look, I…uh…" He scratched at his neck awkwardly. "I'm sorry. I know you wanted me to…"

"I told you it was ok. I took my medicine."

"That's…"

"…But that's not the problem. Is it," she said quietly, standing up and flipping her hair over her shoulder.

Not once from the time they'd started doing this had he come inside her, and if he had it his way, he probably never would. In some sick, twisted corner of his mind, it was his way of keeping his distance. Her feelings were hurt a little less by the fact that he was consistent and didn't use his ejaculations as tools to control her; he knew how badly she wanted a complete connection, and she knew he didn't like making her sad. So she kept hoping he might come around. She even took medication to prevent pregnancy in the hopes that he might feel more at ease with the idea, but, so far…

"Zoro."

"Hm."

"Marry me."

A slight breeze blew across the deck, drying the sweat on their bodies and making them cold. He stared at her from his place at the railing, seemingly unmoved by her proposal.

"You know I can't do that."

"Yes. I know."

"Then why ask?"

"I felt like it."

She sidled over to where he stood, then gently took his hand in hers and guided him to the swing. He sat down and she climbed onto him, straddling his lap and resting her head in the crook of his neck.

"Don't you think, since you're bigger, that I should sit on you," he asked teasingly. She sighed and stroked his earrings with her tongue so they jingled against each other.

"I think…you should be quiet and enjoy the esteemed privilege of having me sit on you." She dragged her feet across the grass, letting him lift her hand to nibble at her wrist.

"I may enjoy it a bit too much," he admitted, another erection rubbing at her thigh insistently. She pushed a hand through her hair and laughed tiredly.

"You thought I was the eager one. At least let me catch up to you. It's nice just being like this, isn't it?"

"Mm. I like this so much I think we should…" He let his sentence trail off, kissing her jaw line and letting his fingers flutter down the sides of her stomach. She squirmed, trying to stifle her laughter at being tickled. It came out in a snort when he let out a series of ridiculous sounding moans because of her hip movements. He glared at her as she laughed and let his face fall to hide his blush in her boobs. She rubbed his back.

"Aw, poor baby," she cooed sarcastically, pouting her lips and then exploding into unladylike laughter again.

"Shut up," Zoro mumbled. He pressed his lips to the side of one breast and blew air out, the resulting farting sound making her cringe. She pulled at his hair so he was looking up at her, a smirk dominating his lips.

"You are immature," she kissed his forehead, "and rude," she kissed his nose, "and a complete asshole." She brought her hands up to cup his face as she finished by pressing gentle kisses to his wounded eye.

The night he took her virginity, she had asked him what it was like seeing the world like that; if he missed having both eyes.

 _It doesn't matter. I can see you, so it doesn't matter,_ he'd said.

Admittedly, that was probably when she knew she had fallen for him.

.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.

"You sure you don't want to go with me?"

Franky walked down the narrow hall of the inn with Robin, escorting her to the room she shared with Nami. Robin shook her head slightly and squeezed his hand.

"Maybe another time. I think I've had enough excitement for one night. Have fun though."

Franky grinned and continued walking down the hall to the room he shared with Brook. Sanji and Chopper were sharing one with Luffy. Robin had passed on getting drinks with everyone else after the concert, so Franky had offered to walk her back here and change before heading back for the after party.

Robin was about to open the door when she heard some muffled conversation from inside, and then what sounded like a whine.

 _Senchou?_

She pushed her ear to the door, trying to confirm his voice. It was indeed him speaking, and it sounded like someone else too. She didn't want to intrude, but…

"Seis Fleur," she whispered, an ear sprouting on the other side of the wall.

"Na~mi, will you stop  _doing_  that?"

"Don't you wanna see how far it can stretch?"

 _Navigator-san too?_

Robin smiled a little, wondering if she should summon an eye to accompany the ear.

"I don't care if it stretches. I don't even understand why we're doing this. Normally you punch everyone if we see you naked."

Robin decided against the eye, blushing at what she had apparently stumbled upon, but too intrigued to walk away.

"Shush. I'm gonna show you something nice, so be grateful."

"I don't want you touching it."

"Too bad."

"Nami, let gooo~"

"Tch. Fine. I should've known you'd be too much of a baby."

There was a snapping sound and a yelp from Luffy, then some pained moaning. Nami spluttered an apology, then he yelled at her when she tried to make it seem like he was over-reacting. Robin could barely contain her laughter. And, admittedly, she was now a bit curious about how far her captain's…ahem…could stretch.

"Nami you JERK," came his enraged cry. "It HURTS."

"Ok, ok, so I shouldn't have done that. Here, I'll make it better…"

"NO. I don't want you to touch it anymore…wait…what're you…"

"This'll feel good. I promise."

"Don't BITE it, that'll make it WORSE…wait…that's… _whoa_ …"

Then there was silence, and Robin blushed a little more at knowing what was probably going on. She came out of her technique and smirked when Luffy's moans became audible from the other side of the door, even without straining to hear. Franky came back around the corner, adjusting his tie and looking confused to see Robin still outside.

"Did j'you forget the key-"

A hand bloomed off of Franky's shoulder and slapped itself over his mouth. She gestured with her eyes at the door and his eyes widened when he heard some of the strange sounds coming from inside.

"I thought it best not to disturb them. So, if you don't mind, I think I will accompany you to the party."

"Oh. Supa~" He whispered, holding out his arm to her and rushing them past the decreasingly sound proof door. They almost died laughing when a cry of 'HOW ARE YOU  _DOING_  THAT' reached their ears, even as they got to the end of the hallway.


	3. Chapter 3

"That's just what I'm saying," Usopp said desperately, walking backwards beside Nami as she made her way swiftly across the deck. "I dreamed that weird dream, and next thing I know, I'm waking up in the middle of the woods naked. And since YOU guys were the last ones to see me-"

"We've been over this, Usopp, and I don't know what to tell you. Yes, it's probably my fault you were delirious last night, but you had it coming. I also told you Luffy and I weren't even around the woods after you disappeared." Nami stopped momentarily in her entrance into the kitchen to move aside for Robin, who was holding her fourth cup of coffee that morning.

"I can vouch for them," the archaeologist said pleasantly, taking a sip and eyeing Nami. "They were definitely too preoccupied to play that kind of prank on you, Long Nose-kun." She smirked at Nami's ridiculous blush. Usopp glared suspiciously, then shrugged and headed towards the table and sat down.

"Good morning my beautiful rose," Sanji greeted Nami with his usual dopey grin, maybe a little more subdued than usual thanks to the lack of sleep they'd all had. "What can I make you for breakfast?"

"Actually Sanji-kun, I just need you to tell me where Zoro is." She cringed thinking about where he might be and was hoping someone could confirm he wasn't sleeping somewhere awkward with…a certain someone else. Not to mention the weird vibe she was getting from Robin… "I'm really not all that hungry this morning."

"What's up?" Zoro appeared through the door and Nami and Sanji both turned to look at him. He was shirtless and sweating profusely, normally a sign he'd just gotten done with his morning work out. Nami wasn't quite sure what that entailed _this_  morning, though.

"I've already told you not to come in here when you smell like that," Sanji sneered. He was too tired to do anything about it though, so he went back to cooking.

"I need you to man the helm," Nami said, crossing to exit the kitchen now that she'd found what she was looking for. "Salome came back. The Kuja's will be here to pick up Hancock-san in a few hours. And since everyone else is sleeping, you're all I've got to work with."

Usopp glanced away from his food to see if Zoro would have a reaction to that news. He didn't appear to be affected. His face still looked like the world was a constant annoyance to him. The sniper watched him reach into the fruit bowl and grab an apple and a banana, silently moving past Nami who had stayed for the same reason.

"Yeah. Just gimme a minute to change."

"And take a shower," Sanji called as the door closed behind him. Nami and Usopp exchanged looks and shrugged. Maybe things weren't as weird as they thought they were.

Zoro headed up to the library, taking a bite out of the apple as he neared the last rung of the ladder. His head popped through the opening and he lifted himself up quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping body over by a book shelf. He needn't have worried though, since her eyes fluttered open to watch him walk over anyway.

"Salome's back," he said shortly, taking another bite and sitting in the chair at the desk. "You should get dressed."

Hancock grunted and lifted herself from the blankets.

"Do you know when Marigold and Sandersonia will arrive, then?"

"Nami didn't say much. Just asked me to man the helm."

"Then what are you doing here. Go do your job."

He shrugged and threw the banana at her. She caught it and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I told her I was getting dressed. And the cook wants me to shower," he offered, resting his head on the desk.

"But you're doing neither of those things."

"Aye."

She shook her head in confusion and stood up, peeling the banana as she did. She was about to take a bite when she felt his eyes on her.

"Go take a shower," she said, narrowing her own eyes.

"Don't feel like it."

"Then at least go put different clothes on."

"That takes too much time."

"And yet," she reasoned, giving the fruit a seductive lick, "you have time to sit there and watch me eat."

He didn't say anything. Just stared.

"And I suppose it was mere coincidence that you picked this one for me to eat," she continued.

"Just eat it."

Hancock knew better, but she liked giving him a hard time. He was starting his withdrawal process. He wouldn't let himself touch her from now on. And she was lucky he'd even bothered coming back up to see her. She smiled at the banana, realizing it was probably just him wanting one more little in-between before they had to go back to pretending.

 _Alright, swordsman. Eat your heart out._

So Hancock ate her banana. And Zoro watched.

And by the time she had put her clothes back on, he was gone.

.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.

"Luffy~ I don't want to leave you~" Hancock whined, crushing him in a hug as tears ran down her face. "I'll be so lonely~" Nami's eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

"HANCOCK-SWAN~! I HOPE YOUR STAY WITH US WAS PLEASANT!" Sanji was currently busy throwing flower petals across the deck, tears of adoration spilling down his face. Usopp and Franky rolled their eyes, knowing they'd be tears of depression in a few minutes. Brook started to ask if he could see her panties before she left, so they both clapped hands over his mouth.

Hancock nodded, then frowned as she finally got a look at Luffy's face.

"Luffy, you don't look so good. Are you feeling alright?" She placed a hand to his forehead.

"Massage," he mumbled, blinking in delirium and smiling up at Hancock. Nami grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him away, muttering about how embarrassing he was.

"Well, I'll be off now," Hancock said, turning so her coat fluttered behind her. Robin looked around.

"Hancock-san, did you already say goodbye to Swordsman-san?"

Franky rubbed his chin. "I haven't seen Zoro-aniki for awhile now."

"What makes you think I'd care to bid that arrogant bastard a farewell," she spat, climbing onto the yuda's head and letting it set her on the deck of her own ship. She was immediately greeted enthusiastically by the other members of her crew.

"Wow. I guess that settles that," Franky said, blinking behind his sunglasses. "Those two really wouldn't make much of a match. I bet he forgot she was leaving this morning." Robin smiled sadly.

"I don't know. Maybe you're right. It's hard to think differently if they hate each other so much."

Hancock dismissed the Amazon's surrounding her and swept across the deck, focused on not letting anyone see the pitiful face she was making. Marigold and Sandersonia barked orders as they turned the ship around. It was just as well. The tears were starting to blur her vision anyway. She marched with her head bowed until she was standing on the upper deck of the stern. She stared at the Thousand Sunny and brushed tears from her eyes, feeling sorry for herself because she'd fallen for such a stupid man.

And then, as if he had materialized out of nowhere, she realized she was looking right at him. There he sat on top of the observation room, staring after her with a look of pained longing.

 _It gets harder_ , he thought to himself, watching her disappear on the horizon.  _It gets harder every time._

He turned the bottle in his hand, sloshing its contents. He smiled sadly.

 _I guess it's just you and me now, old friend._

.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.

 **The end.**


End file.
